The Battle of Santa's Farm!

Introduction

Even if I haven't done so in any of the previous 12 months, this is the time of year when I host a large-scale battle using the Hordes of the Things rules.  What's the occasion?  Why Christmas, of course - when I retrieve my Santa-themed army and put it on the table with various allies and enemies.  Let the best man/saint/troll/goblin/snowman win!

Last year, Santa routed the opposition.  Can he repeat that success this year?  Read on...

Setup

We had 6 armies facing each other across the table in this game.

For the good side (top to bottom):

• Tilean mercenaries:  Solid spearmen, some heavy cavalry, some crossbowmen, a cannon, a birdman/flying machine and a base of duelists/assassins (sneakers).
• Santa: ice bears, elves with sten guns (and mince pies), a toy cannon and hordes of snowmen.
• Kung Fu: heroes, a buddhist priest, swordsmen and hordes of peasants.

Evil (or at least, naughty, selfish and greedy):

• Goblins: wolf riders, trolls, green hordes.
• Barbarians (centre): rhino rider, archers, warbands.
• Barbarians (right wing): heroes, panther riders, warbands

In the Beginning

As one might expect, the evil side advanced across the board.  If they could just capture Santa's house then it would be "game over", so they had every incentive to play aggressively.

In the far north, the Tilean general rode forwards, perhaps a bit recklessly not waiting for the rest of his troops.  He was swiftly surrounded and cut off by goblins and trolls.

Santa flew his sleigh right over the enemy lines and circled behind them.  He was waiting for an opportunity to pounce on any unsuspecting element.

His first chance arrived almost immediately, as the (centre) barbarians ignored him in favour of continuing their advance.  Santa's sleigh swept down on their back ranks and destroyed one element before taking off again!

To the north, the Tilean general was cut down; this shook and demoralised the remainder of the mercenary force.  Many of them immediately turned and fled, though the spearmen and crossbows held their ground.  Demoralised enemy forces: Good (0), Naughty (1).

Interestingly, the Tilean duelists were engaged with massed goblins in the forest; the sneakers couldn't really be hurt by the hordes (or vice versa) - but they couldn't/wouldn't break off either.  The goblin hordes spent much of the game tied up in this useless fashion - hunting for assassins that they just couldn't pin down!

Near the fountain in the centre, the snowmen started to tear apart the advancing barbarian warbands in front of them.  The elf shooters, having disposed of their barbarian counterparts, joined in as well.  Before long (and completely against the odds), the barbarian (centre) force was decimated and demoralised, with only a few stray elements dispiritedly holding their ground.  Demoralised enemy forces: Good (1), Naughty (1).

At the other end of the battlefield, the Kung Fu swordsmen held off the barbarian cavalry and heroes.  Mostly...

After many turns in which the combat swayed too and fro, the barbarians (right wing) stepped up a gear and chewed through much of the Kung Fu army in just a single turn, whilst only taking a few losses.  Demoralised enemy forces: Good (1), Naughty (2).

In the middle of the game, Santa struck again!  This time he landed in a swamp in order to attack a troll that was involved in a complex fight involving the goblin general and some of his ice bears.  Let's just say that it didn't go very well for either element in the middle of this fight!

The loss of the Tileans had uncovered Santa's flank and the goblin general thought he saw an opportunity.  He led his wolf riders into a charge against Santa's toy cannon, which was then also attacked in the rear by a couple of barbarian heroes from the other flank.

This didn't look good at all.  However, I am reliably informed that the cannon was loaded with Christmas trees this time - not like earlier in the game, when we figured it must have been firing marshmallows, for all the damage it was doing.  The goblin general was well-and-truly skewered and with his demise the remaining goblins decided they wanted no further part in the fight.  Demoralised enemy forces: Good (2), Naughty (2).

So, it looked as if it was coming down the the wire now.  There remained just Santa's army (somewhat damaged) and the barely-touched barbarians (right wing).  The swift barbarian chieftain made an attempt to break into Santa's house, but was chased off by Mrs. Claus (I imagine a rolling pin was involved, possibly also with the threat of ... soap.  Or mistletoe).

Not fancying his army's chances - they were slightly outnumbered and somewhat scattered & out of position - Santa decided to finish this in single combat with the enemy general, "mano e mano".  Whoever lost this fight would probably lose the game, as the remainder of their army would almost certainly be demoralised and withdraw from the battle.  Santa charged his sleigh straight at the barbarian prince...

.who sidestepped nimbly at the last moment and overturned the man-in-red into the snow.  Thus ends the tale; Christmas is no more; victory to the barbarians!

Conclusion

This was a special game, especially as I managed to persuade several club members to play their first game of Hordes of the Things because of the occasion.  I believe that it was much enjoyed by the participants and I hope that the tale will be appreciated by all my other readers too!

Highlights:

• I loved seeing the goblin hordes playing hide-and-seek with the Tilean assassins in the forest.  The sneakers had something of a combat advantage, though this was swiftly reduced by outflanking and demoralisation to something like parity with the goblins.  However, these Tileans just couldn't roll low for almost all the game.
• Santa's cannon, elves and angry snowmen saw off pretty much all comers!  At least, until faced with overwhelming odds...
• One troll from the goblin force engaged a Kung Fu hero late in the game.  Even though both were demoralised, the troll just didn't know to give up and kept chasing the hero across the board [I don't think that Hordes of the Things elements cease to be impetuous once they are demoralised?].
• The barbarian leader's brazen attack on Santa's cottage could have ended the game immediately; it was a 50:50 chance.  However, he was chased off by the stronghold's defences.

Low Points:

• The Tilean flying machine ran away without engaging - again!  I don't think I've ever seen it do anything useful in any game...
• Santa's defeat at the hands of a barbarian has to be a depressing thought - but I'm sure he'll be back!

Zomtober 2019, Week 4

<==  Week 3 is this way

Introduction

I'm full of cold and not feeling very good today, so if there's anything in this post that is rambling or incoherent then it's because I'm very tired and have a bad headache.

So, it's week 4 of Zomtober 2019; the final part of the event (whew!).  As always, I'm going to show a zombie miniature and a survivor, presented as a "duel".  This time there's a slight twist: the survivor comes in two variants and it will be your job to determine which one is more likely.  Read on...

Mick/Mickey vs Stripper Zombie

Here we have a young man facing off against a zombie stripper.

On the left is one version of this week's human.  He's well armed with a machete & club and is wearing a facemask and padded jacket which should give at least some protection against zombie bites.  This is clearly how Mick wishes to see himself: capable and in control of the situation.

On the right the other version of our "hero".  He's the same guy, really - but instead of weapons he is waving a bottle of beer.  I suspect that this isn't the first drink he's had recently either.  Perhaps "Mickey" is a more likely representation of this person?

From another angle, it's fairly obvious that the zombie stripper is charging at the human.  Mick looks as if he's prepared to fight, though Mickey seems to be swaying a bit as if drunk.  Or is that just my imagination?

The "Mick" and "Mickey" models are from Offensive Miniatures.  I had thought that all of the figures in their packs were quite unique; it was quite a surprise to find that these two were so similar.  Hower, rather than being put off by that, it gave me the inspiration to paint them as 2 different versions of the same person.

The stripper zombie is from Studio Miniatures, specifically from the "Zombie Characters VI" pack.

Both/all these models were relatively easy to paint.  The stripper zombie in particular is mostly just flesh; there's little in the way of clothing or equipment that needs detailing!

The bases are press moulded in green stuff from a Basius II pad.  For Mick/Mickey, I was careful to try to use exactly the same area of the pad, so as to create the same result.

As an extra, the poster under Mick/Mickey's feet is an advert for some low-budget zombie film, printed on paper and then stuck to the base.  It's just about possible to read the film title when I have the models in front of me, though I don't think any of the photos are clear enough for it to be understood.

Last shot; the detail on Mickeys's bottle can be seen more clearly here.

Conclusion

So who will win - the zombie or the human?  I think it hinges very much on who the person is: Mick the survivor or Mickey the civilian?  If he's feeling like "Mick" today then a blow from the machete will fell the zombie.  But if our lad is really "Mickey" then I think he's in big trouble.

As always, your thoughts are much appreciated...

Zomtober 2019, Week 3

<==  Follow me for the previous week's tale

Introduction

It's now the third week of Zomtober 2019 and (as always) I'll be presenting a "duel" between a survivor and a zombie.  This time there will be a slight twist, however: I'll give alternate versions of the encounter and let you decide which is more likely!

Lou vs. Old Woman Zombie (OWZ), Version 1

Lou was an exterminator by profession.  His usual work was pest control: trapping, poisoning or shooting rodents, pigeons, seagulls and the like.

His last job had been for the council, at the local community centre.  After disposing of a nasty wasps nest, he had gone to take a shower in the attached fitness centre.  On leaving this, he discovered that some hoodlum had taken all his clothes.  All he could find to wear was his black vest and a discarded costume from a recent children's ballet class.

The centre seemed strangely deserted; Lou made his way out to his van without spotting another person.  As he opened the vehicle up, he saw an old woman in a nightdress and gown approaching him, moaning and dribbling.  Was the whole world going crazy?  What else could go wrong today?

Quickly, he retrieved his shotgun from the back of the van and turned to face the crone.

Lou vs. Old Woman Zombie (OWZ), Version 2

Lou was a bitter, twisted and sadistic little psychopath.  On hearing over the radio that law and order was breaking down, he decided that he was going to get even with his hated landlady, Mrs Doyle.

Since there was no-one to tell him what to do any more, he thought he'd dress for the occasion.  He had a pink tutu that he'd been saving for a special occasion after taking it from a little girl years before.

The costume didn't seem as pleasant as he had thought it would; the tights were far too small and the colour seemed to have faded during the years he had kept it under his musty bed.  Still, the decision was made and he wasn't going to go back on it now.

As he stepped into the street, he saw Mrs Doyle approaching.  She looked even more grey and shuffling than usual, but there was no pity in Lou's heart as he prepared himself to shoot her.  This was going to be the highlight of his year...

Conclusion

Well, which is it?  Is Lou an innocent workman caught up in an unlikely sequence of events, or is he just plain nuts?  Will he kill OWZ, or will he hesitate and be eaten by the zombie?  Does anyone even care what happens to him?

The zombie model comes from Studio Miniatures (specifically, she's part of Zombie Mob 2), whilst Lou is from Hasslefree (in the Legends of Golgo range).

I'm quite happy with the painting of OWZ, but there's something about Lou that just isn't right to my eyes.  Both models, as well as much of my other recent output, have a bit of "milkiness" causes by my current varnish.  I'm not at all happy about that and will need to obtain a replacement can as soon as I am able!

Onwards to Week 4!  ==>

Zomtober 2019, Week 2

<==  This way for Week 1

Introduction

This year, I'm well prepared for Zomtober.  As well as having week two's entries ready for show (see below), I have week three's models almost finished and have even made a start on week four.  So, I'm feeling good about this.  I just hope that everyone else who is taking part in the event is also motivated and enthusiastic.

The Duel

Once again, I'm presenting a recently-finished survivor model facing off against a similarly-recent zombie.  This week, it's the turn of Luke to duel with Hare Krishna Zombie ("HKZ" hereafter, for brevity).

Luke was a kindly, well-meaning man, though even his best friend wouldn't describe him as "wise".  His life was straightforward; he had a regular job that paid the bills, though it wasn't very exciting.  He lived for his weekends when he could indulge his passion for rock and roll, especially from the early years.  His Gibson J200 guitar was a prized possession; Luke could play well for an amateur, though even he would admit that he was nowhere near as good as his idols.

However, now the apocalypse was in full swing and all the old certainties had vanished.  Luke had ventured onto the street to seek company and was immediately faced with a moaning, swaying Hare Krishna - clearly one of the "infected".

What was Luke to do?  He was armed and technically could shoot the zombie down at any time.  But Luke wasn't sure if this would be right.  After all, this was a holy man - would killing the zombie be a sin that would damn him forever?

Also, by the look of it the Hare Krishna was a fellow musician; he had a tambourine by his side.  Luke wasn't totally sure whether a tambourine counted as a musical instrument, but could he take the chance?  Destroying one of his fellow music lovers would be a terrible thing.  Ah, what to do...?

The zombie model is from Studio Miniatures (one of their "character" zombies, if I remember correctly).  Luke comes from Hasslefree, of course.  Bases are green stuff, backed by a 25mm steel washer and then press-moulded on a Basius II pad.

Conclusion

So, what should Luke do?  If he were your everyday, run-of-the-mill street thug then I imagine that he'd raise his revolver and blow the zombie away without a second thought.  But not everyone is like that.

Perhaps there is a cure for the zombie plague and HKZ can be saved?  Perhaps Luke can run away (though he wouldn't want to drop or bash his precious guitar in the process)?  Maybe he will decide that it's OK (and necessary) to shoot the zombie?  Or maybe he'll just stand there dithering and HKZ will rip his throat out?

As always, what are your thoughts on this confrontation?

Forward to week 3 ==>

Zomtober 2019, Week 1

Introduction

It's Zomtober again!  This is quite a lot of work for me, but I do still enjoy the event all the same.

For any new readers, here's the deal: a loose group of hobbyists agree that each will produce at least one zombie-related model each week during October.  More information including the rules (such as they are) can be found >> here <<.  It's a way of encouraging each other to be more productive...

This is the 7th year that I've been part of Zomtober (wow, really?).  Rather than just produce one model each week, I decided right from the outset to paint both a survivor and a zombie and then pose them as a "duel".  This leads to the interesting question: "what happens next?".  Sometimes it's obvious, but on other occasions there is much discussion without commentators reaching any general agreement...

Previous Zomtobers

Just in case anyone is interested in old stuff, here's a catalogue of previous years (or at least, Week 1 from each year.  Weeks 2, 3, 4... can be reached by following the links from each year's start entry):

• Zomtober 2013
• Zomtober 2014
• Zomtober 2015
• Zomtober 2016
• Zomtober 2017
• Zomtober 2018

Ryan vs the Cheer Squad

 This year, my first Zomtober entry has not just 1 figure or even 2 figures, but 4 models in a "duel".

Ryan was a fairly average high school dropout.  He liked to dress all in black and would blame the rest of the world (especially kids of his age group) for his own inadequacies.  Never once in a million years did he think that one of the good-looking, popular girls would so much as notice him, at least not without an expression of disgust or mild amusement.

And yet, here were 3 of the cheer squad (the most athletic, well-groomed girls in school) approaching him!  Knowing his luck, this was probably not as good as it seemed.

Ryan may have rejected formal education, but he wasn't stupid.  He knew that the zombie plague was rampant and that society was falling apart.  That was why he had his home-made crossbow with him - just in case he met anyone hostile.  The weapon was small, lovingly built (machine shop was the only class in school that Ryan enjoyed) and probably deadly, though he had never actually shot anyone with it - yet.

There was just one problem.  Ryan had spent so much time and effort on the weapon itself that he hadn't made much ammunition.  He had just a single bolt - and there were 3 zombies approaching.  He hadn't even considered the need for a knife or other backup weapon.  Maybe he wasn't quite as smart as he had thought...

I thought that the cheerleader zombies came from Bombshell Miniatures, but I cannot see them on that site.  Maybe I'm remembering this incorrectly?

Whatever their provenance, I extended their costumes a bit with green stuff, as the models were showing too much lower boob for my taste.  It didn't look at all plausible to me (though arguably, anything with "zombie" in the title is somewhat implausible right away...).  They still have bare midriffs, which is quite enough and a bit more "realistic".

Ryan is one of the street kids from Offensive Miniatures.  The bases are all green-stuff press moulds generated from a Basius II pad.

Conclusion

So, what happens next?  Ryan has one shot only; even if he manages to fell a zombie with that then there will still be 2 cheerleaders left to attack him.

He could take to his heels and run - if so then let's hope that these are the slow-moving, groaning type of zombies.  Otherwise, it'll be a close run thing between 3 athletic ex-girls and one not-particularly-fit young man.

Perhaps the cheerleaders are still trying to perform a routine and can be distracted or avoided?  After all, their continued grip on their pompoms suggests that they haven't gone totally feral.

So, what you you think?

Follow this link for Week 2 ==>

Claymore 2019: Hot Work!

Introduction

My #2 son and I have been attending the Claymore wargames show in Edinburgh for a number of years now.  It's always on in early August, so last weekend we took ourselves across the country for this event.  We had a good time, but perhaps not a great one, as you will find out if you read on.

Part of the atrium room.  Note the greenhouse-like ceiling: it has plenty of light, but is very hot on a  summer afternoon.

As always, we played some games, did some sightseeing and bought some stuff.

Game 1: Playmobil Gunslingers

We had seen this game at at least one other Scottish show earlier this year, but it always seemed to be booked up.  This time, we were early and played a quick, 2-player match.  I took the local sheriff, his 2 deputies and a couple of upstanding citizens who had volunteered to help.  Opposing me, my son had 5 bandits; these had a secret agenda and I was not aware of their plans.

The sheriff's posse are in front of the jail; the bandits are in the far distance

Both parties advanced to meet near the stagecoach.  For some reason, the bandit leader climbed onto the top of the coach.

After a short exchange of gunfire, 3 outlaws/bandits were down (including their leader, blown off the stagecoach by a blast from a double-barrelled shotgun).  None of the posse were hurt.

The remaining 2 bandits fled, leaving the sheriff and townsfolk unscathed.  A very one-sided affair...

This game was short and brutal.  In part, that was because of runs of good & bad dice by the respective sides (the sheriff's men were probably rolling above average and the bandits below par).  However, I couldn't help feeling that it would have been a much better experience if there had been more players.  At the very least, there wouldn't have been the same temptation to just march into the centre and open fire with everything 😃.

Game 2: Rhodesian Scouts

Just before lunch, we stopped at a very nice-looking table and were invited to play a game on it.  This was a co-operative affair, with A. and I each taking a 4-man squad of elite Rhodesian light infantry to try to rescue and extract some scouts (these were hiding out in the large rock formation at the far end of the table).  Of, course, the area was swarming with ZAMLA (?) militia...

My squad, hiding out in some elephant grass.

The game mechanics involved movement from landmark to landmark.  Some of these landmarks provided soft cover, some were classed as hard cover and some gave no cover at all.

In the very first action of the game, one of A.'s troopers was shot dead whilst crossing open ground in an attempt to find cover.  This seemed like a very bad omen, but our 2 squads then managed to leapfrog most of the way up the table without taking anything worse than the occasional pin or suppression marker.  In return, we saw off large numbers of enemies.

At one point, we called in a gunship helicopter.  It proceeded around the edge of the table creating havoc amongst the ZAMLA troops, until it reached the far end...

...where it came across the one enemy squad that was armed with an RPG.  A lucky shot from this weapon saw our gunship crash and burn, much to our disgruntlement!

Finally, we reached the scouts and called in our evacuation helicopter.  I think the pilot was cursing us roundly for having chosen such an awkward landing spot, but he managed to put the aircraft down safely.

The 2 scouts and the 3 remaining members of A's squad embarked without too much difficulty, but ZAMLA troops were closing in.  Despite our use of smoke grenades to try to obscure our forces, the helicopter took several bullets and my squad leader was pinned down.

With everyone else on board (including the 2 scouts, on whose safety victory or defeat was solely determined) , the pilot took off without waiting for my last guy.  Plenty of militia shot at the helicopter as it left, but somehow it managed to stagger away, damaged.  We had won the game!

This was a very engaging game, with high levels of tension throughout.  The models were nicely done; the scenery was excellent and our hosts were friendly and enthusiastic.  Congratulations to them!

My only mild disappointment was that the wildlife was purely decorative; the cheetah, antelopes and girafe played no part in the game 😃.  Also, I feel bad about abandoning my squad leader...

Sightseeing

Age of Sail

I don't normally take many photos of non-participation games, but this one stood out for me.

It was a very beautiful Napoleonic naval game put on by (I think) the "Border Reivers".  Models were 1:600 scale, so the larger ships were probably around 6" (15cm) long.

They had a rather nice coastline running along one end of the board, with a port and associated gun emplacements.  The scenic backdrop definitely helps to give the illusion of depth here!

For me, one of the most stunning parts of this display was to discover that the ship models were paper!  That's right; each design is a print-and-build PDF document with instructions on the gauge and lengths of wire to be used for the rigging.

I was told that they were quite simple to build, but I've done quite a bit of card modelling in my time and I'm impressed.  They may be straightforward to make (though I have my doubts ), but each ship must have taken a considerable amount of time to finish.

Of course, once the initial design has been bought, it can be reused as many times as desired.  I was shown some crippled and/or sinking models that had been made from the same kits, though these were not needed at the relatively early stage of the battle in my photos.

Sudan

For my own reference, I took some pictures of a large Omdurman-campaign Sudan game.  I was more interested in the scenery than the Mahdist vs British action (though the figures were very nice too).

Fortunately for me, they had a "cheat sheet" listing where all the components had been found.

Unfortunately, the Arab town is only listed as "eBay purchase", which doesn't really help me at all.  Oh, well.

On the other hand, the ruins are ex-PMC, now available from Caliver Books.  I would never have thought to look there for items like that, but I think it quite likely that I'll purchase these in due course now that I've seen them.

Shopping

I had quite a long list of items that I wished to find, although most of these were "might be nice" rather than "must have".  In the end, I found most of them, with one very big exception (more later on this).

Our purchases were enhanced by tombola wins from the SSAFA charity stall.  We were one of the first groups (if not the very first?) to buy tickets.  Out of 8 tickets each, I won 4 prizes and A. won 3; this is enormously above my expectations for such an event!  Indeed, we were so embarrassed by this that we immediately donated about half of our wins straight back, so that the charity could reuse them.  Mind you, this isn't altogether as altruistic as it sounds; these were items that we didn't have any use for; they would just have gathered dust and taken space had we kept them.

So, my loot pile is as follows:

• MDF bases from Warbases.  Mostly round (of various sizes), but with some pill bases as well.
• "Over the Hills" Napoleonic wargames rules (from the SSAFA tombola).
• An "RAF" keyring torch/flashlight (also an SSAFA win), plus a wristband and pen given to us by the same place.
• SAGA Age of Magic dice: "Order" and "Magic".
• SAGA objectives.  Some beautifully-detailed resin pieces.
• Norman infantry, for my under-construction SATA warband.
• Green spray paint, for model bamboo.  I may talk about this more in another article...
• Some Milky Bar sweets, won for participating in the Playmobil shootout.

A. had enough of a loot haul to warrant a separate picture:

• Tau stealth suits, from the Bring-n-Buy hall.
• 8th Army models (SSAFA tombola prize)
• A large collection of Yugioh cards (Bring and Buy)
• 2 pens and a wristband (SSAFA)
• A. had already eaten his Milky Bar buttons by the time we took this picture, so they're not shown here.

Conclusion

Edinburgh is quite a long drive for me; it's very tiring.  On the trip homeward, I had to stop in Stirling just so I could find some coffee and take a break.

Good Points

• We did get to play some games: one was fair and the other was very good.
• I found most of what I wanted to buy.
• A. scored some good stuff in the Bring-n-Buy.

Not so good

• There were a number of "no shows" at Claymore 2019, through no fault of the organisers.  From memory this may have been as many as 4 games and 2 traders.  One of these traders was a company that I had particularly noted; I had intended to make a fairly sizeable purchase from them.
• There didn't seem as many participation games as I would have liked.  Of course, there were several that we had seen earlier in the year at other shows; we tried to leave these available for other players who hadn't yet encountered them.  Even so, demonstration games outnumbered participation games by quite a wide margin.

So, this ends the show season in Scotland for 2019, at least as far as I'm concerned.  It's been a busy year, with 2 new events in Glasgow (one was a one-off; the other will be repeated next year) as well as my regular attendance at Carronade and Claymore.  Now that the shows are all over, I need to find time to paint some of the stuff I have accumulated!